The Hive Mind Isn’t a Bad Thing
They say don’t get too close with your coworkers. “It’s not your family.” “Family comes first.” All true. But let’s be real: you spend more waking hours with your coworkers than you do with your spouse. You’ll spend more time looking at Jerry from accounting’s polo shirt collection than your own partner’s face. That’s the stat, folks. Nobody likes hearing it because it makes you realize you spend your life inside a cube farm. But here we are.
So if most of your life is going to be spent with coworkers, shouldn’t you at least like them? Better yet, shouldn’t you all start thinking a little like each other? That’s the whole point of a clique, or what people now politely call “culture.” Team “hivemind” isn’t a negative, it’s survival. Companies like Google, Facebook (when it was still fun to poke people), or Disney all leaned on this. Call it clique-y, call it cult-ish, call it whatever you want but they scaled, they grew, and they didn’t let every random personality walk through the door just because they needed a warm body in a chair.
The truth? A good clique is powerful. Not toxic, not gossipy, not “Mean Girls.” Just one tight unit where everyone hustles the same way and protects the standard. And yeah, you’re allowed to have outside perspectives, consultants, freelancers, contractors. The hive lets outsiders buzz around, but only lets a few in. Why? Because one bad apple doesn’t just spoil the bunch, it tanks quarterly revenue, sets the Slack channel on fire, and ruins the holiday party vibe.
Now, everyone loves to throw rocks at this idea: “But friction creates innovation.” Sure. But what if the hive is the friction? What if the group is just crazy enough to share a vision that nobody else in the industry is bold enough to chase? You think Disney scaled into a world-dominating mouse empire because they let Steve from HR bring in his cousin who thought cartoons were stupid? No. They protected the clique like it was the nuclear codes.
Hiring is where this gets dicey. Most companies are still hiring like they’re speed dating. Swipe right, add headcount, hope for the best. And then six months later comes layoffs, bad press, and migraines. If I had my way, hiring would look more like Navy SEAL training than Indeed.com. Pressure tests. Meet the actual team. Throw in the front desk test, the waitress test, hell, put them on a lie detector while you’re at it. You’d be amazed how fast someone’s “culture fit” cracks the moment stress shows up. If they’re snapping at the waitress because their fries are cold, I promise you they’ll snap at my executive assistant when a Zoom link goes missing. Hard pass.
Yes, this makes hiring harder. No doubt about it. But the headache now is lighter than the migraine later. Companies who pretend otherwise end up with high turnover, culture rot, and endless “team-building” exercises involving overpriced ropes courses no one wanted to do in the first place.
And here’s the thing about growth: even the best cultures get diluted when you scale. That’s not a failure, it’s just reality. Priorities shift, cracks show, cliques split into sub-hives. That’s the cycle. Which is why the only real rule is this: hire slow when it’s right to hire slow, hire fast when you need bodies, and then deal with the consequences like an adult. Shape people into the mold if they’re adaptable. And if they’re not? Say thank you, wish them well, and move on.
Because let’s stop pretending: businesses use people, and people use businesses. That’s the transaction. The sooner we admit it, the less bitter everyone will be. The hive only works if everyone understands the deal. You get a paycheck, we get your time, and hopefully, in between, we build something worth bragging about.
So no, hiveminds aren’t bad. They’re necessary. They’re the difference between a team that survives and a team that ends up as a punchline. The only real question is: are you shaping the hive, or are you just buzzing around outside it?
written, out loud
